We Loved, We Hurt, We Grieved
by kitten in cup
Summary: What happens when Morgana stumbles upon an injured Arthur in the clearing where they used to laugh and play? The clearing where a promise was made...a vow of undying love. Set after Series 4. ARMOR
1. Chapter 1

We Loved, We Hurt, We Grieved.

**Author's note: This is basically an angsty fic about Arthur and Morgana. It is my first ever fan fiction, so no flames please! R&R please. Oh and they're not siblings in this fic because incest isn't really my thing.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of Merlin. I wish I did, though. Arthur and Morgana would definitely be together…sorry Merthur and Arwen shippers.**

Arthur POV

Arthur stumbled through the woods, clutching a deep wound in his side. Pain coursed through his body, but he kept going. The bandits had long since been defeated, but at the cost of this fatal injury. Arthur had yelled at the knights and his annoying but loyal manservant Merlin to flee and get help. He knew he would not last much longer, though.

Seeing a familiar large oak tree in a peaceful –looking clearing, Arthur felt his eyelids begin to close, the pain begin to recede. He was passing out. Oh well, this wasn't such a bad place to die…

Morgana POV

Morgana stopped, drawing her dagger. She had heard footsteps and a thud. Cautiously dropping her basket of herbs, she crept out of the hollow oak tree in which she often came to rest. The place was special to her, and now somebody was disrupting it!

Morgana quickly sprinted to the body she saw at the edge of the clearing. As she got near the fallen man, she gasped.

It was Arthur Pendragon.

A rush of emotions flooded her body and overwhelmed her mind. The man whom she had once loved, before she found she had magic, met Morgause, and turned against Camelot, was here. Morgana sobbed. Destiny really was cruel. The King of Camelot was here, most likely dead, at the place where they used to laugh and play when they were children.

Morgana expected to be happy upon seeing Arthur's body at her feet. But instead she felt…anguish and remorse. Instantly guilt flooded over her. What had she done? Betrayed her loved ones, killed thousands of people…and now the one she cared about most was fatally wounded, at her feet.

Morgana summoned up her strength, and carried Arthur back to the huge hollow of the ancient oak tree. She traced the neat carvings on the wood with one delicate finger: Arthur and Morgana=Undying Love.

As Morgana uttered the magic words that would heal the man in front of her, tears dripped down her porcelain cheeks. They had loved each other, hurt each other, and grieved over what they could have been.

When Morgana pressed her lips to Arthur's, she just hoped he remembered the promise a young boy gave a young girl, right here, thirteen years ago.

A promise of undying love.

Morgana drew away, sobbing.

Arthur's eyelids opened slowly.

"Morgana."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Thank you to all reviewers for reviewing! I am happy people actually like my first fanfiction ever. It was originally meant to be a one-shot, but it seems people like it so I will be turning it into a multi-chaptered fic. This is the second chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I own Merlin! (Police come knocking on my door.) No! Please! I was only joking, I don't really. (Police leave.)**

Arthur's eyelids slowly opened.

"Morgana."

**Line break**

Arthur POV

Arthur felt nothing but a void of endless darkness. His head and side throbbed with pain. He vaguely remembered a familiar oak tree.

A rush of warmth suddenly engulfed Arthur's broken body. He suddenly could feel again. He felt tears drip onto his face. A pair of soft, hot lips was pressing against his, which then abruptly jerked away. It was this jerk that sent strange sensations down his spine, and woke him.

Arthur's eyes opened slowly. Grey-blue met piercing green.

He recognised the face above him. The beautiful face of the woman who had betrayed Camelot.

"Morgana."

**Line break**

Morgana POV

Morgana let out a strange squeaking sound as Arthur's eyes met hers in an accusing gaze.

"Arthur…" Morgana's voice trembled, "Please…I can explain."

"Explain? Explain why you betrayed the kingdom, betrayed me? We…we could have been together! We could have had a happily ever after, Morgana! You ruined that. You betrayed my trust," Arthur cried.

Morgana curled up in a corner of the hollow in the oak tree. A rush of guilt flooded her body. Tears slid down her face. What had she done? Arthur was right. She should have told him she had magic. He would have understood. Instead, Morgana had chosen to follow her half-sister, the only person she had thought would accept her. Well, Morgause did…and turned her evil. Now, Morgana had nothing. Arthur and Camelot hated her. She was guilty, and no matter how remorseful she was, no one in their right mind would forgive her.

Morgana whispered heartbrokenly, "Arthur…I know you have no reason to forgive me, but please listen. I felt so alone! I was scared, I thought if I told you I had magic you would hate me! When Morgause came, I was so happy. My sister accepted me! She told me I had her, and that you and Uther were too against magic to spare even me. I was naïve, Arthur! I believed her. Please Arthur…you have to understand!"

Arthur POV

Upon hearing Morgana's words, Arthur felt only suspicion. She was a really good actress, what if this was her plan? But Arthur considered this a bit more. Morgana healed him, brought him back from death. If she wanted him to die, she could have just done nothing.

Then Arthur felt pure guilt, sting him like a thorn. Here was Morgana, sobbing out of remorse, and he had shoved her aside and yelled at her. It wasn't her fault, really. If it was Arthur he definitely would have followed Morgause. Morgana was lost and afraid, she was too scared to turn to anyone in Camelot. Arthur felt hurt, but then again, he had hurt her as well. Arthur should have paid more attention to Morgana when she needed it the most, instead of letting their relationship slowly slide. They had loved each other, hurt each other, and grieved out of guilt. Maybe he would never forget, but everyone deserved a second chance.

He just hoped she gave him one.

**Author's Note: Okay, so next chapter is still going to be set in the clearing, and Arthur and Morgana are going to have a confession and heart-to-heart scene. About the thing of letting their relationship slide, I was referring to how Arthur spent less and less time with Morgana in Series 2 and 3. Sorry these are all short chapters, but I love those short ones with impact and cliff-hangers. Just hope you guys do too! I will update every few days if I have time since these take just a little while to write.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: So far, Arthur woke up and yelled at Morgana. She pleads for him to listen to her, and Arthur feels guilty and acknowledges to himself that they both hurt each other. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or anything to do with it. I only own this plotline. So please don't sue me!**

Morgana POV

Listening to those bitter, sharp words and seeing those warm blue eyes now icy cold with anger was more than Morgana's already torn soul could bear.

But she supposed Arthur was right. She had dethroned Uther for his cruelty, and vowed to change Camelot into a peaceful place where magic was free. However, in order to make the adamant people listen to her, Morgana had turned to cruelty herself under Morgause's influence and advice.

"I just wanted to be accepted."

Arthur POV

Arthur looked at Morgana sadly as she uttered those words. Ultimately, her strong will had been her downfall. Morgana's need to be accepted had turned into determination, then, fuelled by Morgause, the only person she thought loved the real Morgana, had turned into pure hatred for the Pendragon rule.

Morgana continued on.

"I never hated you, or Gwen, or Merlin. Uther, yes, but I had reason. He would have executed me, I mean, he nearly executed Gaius!"

Arthur whispered, "He loved you."

"I did not want to take any chances. I was too afraid to tell anyone! I asked Gaius, he kept on denying I had magic. I was so alone and confused! I told Merlin, but he-"Morgana broke off, not wanting to say the painful truth.

"He what? Morgana tell me!" Arthur demanded, suddenly feeling an outburst of rage, even though he did not even know what Merlin had done.

Morgana looked hurt and terrified.

"He poisoned me. Can't you understand? Morgause saved me! She was the one who cared about me. Who am I meant to be loyal to? Do you think I wanted to betray you, and Gwen?" Morgana burst out.

Shock jolted unpleasantly down Arthur's spine. Merlin? His dumb manservant? Poisoned Morgana? Without thinking, Arthur drew the trembling Morgana into his strong arms.

Looking into those pale jade eyes, he said, "Explain."

"Arthur…it was when the sleeping plague hit Camelot. I had no idea why I wasn't affected. I later figured out she made me the vessel of the plague. Somehow, Merlin knew. The only way to end the plague was to…well, kill me. Please don't blame him, I'm sure he had reasons…but at the time all I knew was betrayed by someone I thought I could trust!"

Arthur pressed his cheek to Morgana's.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know," he said, real grief and anguish in his voice.

Morgana's POV

He held her in his arms, her face pressed against his cheek, his chin resting on top of her wild raven locks.

In that moment, Morgana was in heaven.

She knew this love was doomed to fail. It was bittersweet, no longer full of innocent kisses in the meadow. They had loved each other, hurt each other beyond measure, and grieved over the many futures which would once have been possible. All the trauma in Arthur and Morgana's lives were too much for any young couple to bear.

But maybe, just maybe, this love might last. They were strong, born to save, born to lead. Arthur would take Morgana back to Camelot, prove her remorse somehow, and they could live happily ever after, just like in the old tales.

But whatever the result, Morgana just wanted to enjoy the time spent in Arthur's arms.

Their perpetual bliss was cut short by the pounding of hooves.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story except for the plotline.**

Arthur let Morgana slip from his arms. Her small figure shrunk back into the hollow, trying to conceal herself. Arthur drew his sword from its smooth, leather scabbard.

"Don't worry. It is most likely my men, searching for me. You stay here and stay hidden," he hissed, trying to give Morgana a confident glance.

However, Arthur felt only nerves as he charged out of the hollow. What if it was indeed his men? They were bound to ask him questions about his now-healed wound. What if they saw Morgana?

Morgana curled up into a ball, hoping whoever it was did not see her. It had to be Arthur's knights, and what would she do if they searched for her? She'd be taken to Camelot and executed. But no, Arthur wouldn't do that, would he?

Arthur came face-to-face with Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine.

"Sire, what happened? Merlin said you were mortally wounded!" demanded Leon.

Arthur felt uncomfortable.

"Well, I thought it was severe, but it turned out to be not so bad. It just looked deep, but I feel perfectly fine now…" he said, hoping to sound sure.

Gwaine frowned, "But you don't even have a scar! You must have been healed, by magic too by the looks of it! We should take you back to Gaius. Maybe someone healed you while you were unconscious?"

Arthur tried to protest, but Sir Leon said firmly, "Sire, people are worried. It is impossible that you just healed. If it is magic…then the kingdom is in danger! You know what happened when that sorcerer 'healed' your father. Who knows what negative effects this spell will have, even though it healed you?"

Morgana watched, from her hiding spot, as Arthur and the knights rode away. Good, she thought wryly, now Gaius is going to confirm it was magic and the knights will search for her and other sorcerers. They really were dumb-who would heal a dying man only to have the spell kill them later? But then that was what happened with Uther. It was her fault, of course, for reversing the healing spell's effects.

Arthur waited impatiently while Gaius carefully examined the wound. It now looked like a long paper cut. The knights, Merlin, and Guinevere knelt around his bed.

"I am afraid it is indeed magic, sire. But it is very strong. I cannot think of who but a High Priestess who can cast this. It possesses no malevolent effects, but the only person who could have cast it…Morgana. You must search for her and bring her to Camelot. Then we can know why she did it, and judge all her previous…misdeeds," Gaius reported with a grave look on his face.

Arthur tried to look shocked.

"Morgana? Why would she do such a thing? If it indeed is her, then why didn't she just leave me to die?"

"My lord, she must have more dangerous plans in stock," Gaius surmised.

Sir Leon said, "The search party will leave at first light."

Once again, Arthur tried to protest.

Gaius and Merlin were sitting at the old, rickety table, discussing the news.

"Merlin, are you sure you did not heal Arthur?"

"Why would I tell you he was dying if I healed him?"

Gaius mused over this for a few minutes.

"It is very surprising Morgana would heal him. I strongly suspect something," Gaius sighed.

Merlin frowned.

"Do you think Morgana will be found and…put to justice?" he asked.

Gaius looked melancholy as he said, "You do not want that, don't you? All these times you could have killed her, you didn't."

Merlin was silent.

**Author's note: I already have big juicy ideas for the future chapters, but I am not revealing them! Don't worry; new chapters will be out VERY soon, so keep checking. So far, I have uploaded a chapter per day, and hope to continue. But these chapters WILL get longer. I am still not sure how I long I want the story to be though, so please give me your thoughts on how many chapters. I look forward to reading the reviews! Again thank you everyone for reviewing, favouriting, and following. Also Gwen is going to be a lady-in-waiting and seamstress for a noblewoman and she is not with anybody but used to be with Lancelot who is dead. P.S to my awesome friends from school who are reading this then thank you so much!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: Sorry I did not update until now, I am busy on the weekends. Anyways, to those of you who were confused as to why Arthur did not use his veto power as king and say, "I AM ARTHUR-FRIKING-PENDRAGON YOU WILL NOT ATTEMPT TO CAPTURE MORGANA!" then it will be explained…shortly!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, which is really sad. I would actually pair up people who belong together if I owned it, I mean, Arwen is really sweet but Gwen should be with Lancelot!**

Arthur sighed as he reluctantly prepared for the patrol searching for Morgana. He had agreed because it would arouse suspicion if he did not. There was a part of him though, that would unwillingly admit to having a small flicker of doubt about Morgana. She had sounded so genuine, but Arthur was still wary. She had tricked them once before. Meanwhile, Arthur was certain that he trusted Gaius. If the wise old physician was suspicious, then it was best to take Morgana back. Arthur just hoped she did not hate him for what he was about to do. It was for Camelot's sake.

Morgana woke up to find herself still in the hollow of that oak tree. She realised, with an unpleasant jolt, that she had fallen asleep. Arthur's men could be anywhere, and she was easy prey. At least she had her magic. But Arthur wouldn't do that, would he?

Merlin dismounted as Arthur gave the signal. Although Morgana was evil, he still felt reluctant to kill her, or let her be killed. A small part of him felt sad and sorry for the woman whom he had cared about like a sister. If Merlin had told Morgana he had magic, would things have been different? The young warlock reassured himself that he had done the right thing by going back here the night Arthur was found and using a spell to make Morgana fall asleep so he could take away her magic. But he still felt uneasy.

Arthur did not want to do this, but only by taking Morgana to Camelot would he be able to ensure everyone was safe if this was indeed one of her plots. He did not want to kill her though. Arthur followed his knights into the clearing.

Morgana could not believe her eyes when the Knights of Camelot charged at her. Reacting instinctively, Morgana shouted a spell. It had no effect. That Emrys again! She was pushed back towards the tree. Why would Arthur do this to her? Morgana was so sure he had forgiven her. She felt tears prick her eyes as Sir Percival forced her to her knees, sword at her throat. Then Arthur entered the clearing.

"Please, not so rough. Morgana is a human too!" Arthur commanded. He strode over to Morgana, his eyes showing a flicker of doubt and regret.

Morgana knew he seemed sorry, but why? Why was he sorry if he chose to search for her? Why didn't he just leave her be? "Arthur…"she whispered in anguish.

"Take her."

Maybe Arthur didn't care after all.

3 days later

Arthur made one of the hardest decisions of his life yesterday. He had decided to lock Morgana up and have her trial on Friday. He felt only sadness and pure, stinging remorse when she was dragged, her green eyes full of pain, to the dungeons. Arthur knew Morgana would never forgive him. Once again, he had loved her, hurt her, and was now grieving over it. Why was he always so confused about Morgana? Arthur knew she was dangerous, and to the people he was doing the right thing, but still…

**Author's note: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favourited, and followed! I hope you guys don't regret it. Special thanks to Kreuse, who reviewed for every chapter. I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE REVIEW!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: Again, I apologize for not updating sooner. I am going on holidays very soon so I might not be able to do any writing! This is going to be the final chapter, but there most likely will be a sequel. Oh, and Agravaine is going to be alive, because I need him to fulfil a role in this chapter. He was never the traitor; in fact he is very much against Morgana and magic in this fic.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. If I did, the shippings would be totally revolutionized. Arwen and Freylin are sweet but yeah…**

Morgana sat in her dark, gloomy, heavily guarded cell. She had sobbed, raged, and yelled at the guards, but it was Arthur she was truly upset about. He had seemingly forgiven her, now he had betrayed her. Would this stupid cycle of loving, hurting, and grieving never end? Maybe it would, Morgana thought, but only with Arthur executing her.

He wouldn't, would he?

To Morgana, it wasn't entirely doubtful.

Arthur descended the steps leading from the great palace to welcome his uncle, Lord Agravaine. He was to stay in one of the outlying villages to see how life for the citizens in remote parts of Camelot was going. Agravaine was to rule as King Regent for this short period of time.

"Welcome to Camelot, Uncle," Arthur greeted.

Agravaine replied, "It is an honour to serve you, my lord. I have heard you captured Morgana. It is a great feat, Arthur."

Arthur felt uncomfortable. "Yes. You must keep her heavily under guard. Her trial is going to be moved to when I return. You need not do anything."

"Of course, my lord."

Arthur quickly descended the stairs to the dungeons. He felt like he had to visit Morgana before he left.

"Leave us," he ordered the guards.

The guards hastened to obey their king. Arthur swiftly unlocked Morgana's cell. She was curled up in a ball, obviously asleep. He hissed her name, and she instantly woke.

"Arthur!"

It pained him to hear her voice filled with anger and hatred. Arthur wondered how he was going to get her to forgive him.

"Morgana. I am so sorry! I had to do it for Camelot. Don't you see, it would have been suspicious if I refused to let them search for you?"

Morgana was clearly conflicted, but still angry. "Don't **you **see? I was so relieved when you forgave me! And then you locked me up! You betrayed me, just like Merlin did."

Arthur looked hurt when he replied, "I understand, but it is my duty as king! I wouldn't have executed you, either! I would have proved your innocence. I still am going to."

Morgana sighed, and slumped against the wall.

"Arthur, I understand. You aren't going to hurt me, aren't you?"

"Of course not. I will be going away. Lord Agravaine is coming to rule for a short while. But I swear, you will not come to any harm," Arthur promised.

Morgana watched as he left, feeling only a light, happy feeling in her heart.

**Two months later…**

Arthur rode faster, seeing Camelot's palace. How glad he was to see home at last and Morgana even though she was locked up. Now he could trial her and prove her innocence. Maybe there will be a happily ever after.

But no.

Arthur could not believe the sight that he saw. An angry mob had formed, jeering and yelling rude names. They were laughing at a figure on the execution platform, bound to a cage. Drums were beating ominously. A torch was being carried to the platform.

To light the pyre.

Suddenly, Arthur was jolted to his senses.

Morgana!

He dismounted, racing towards the platform of doom, pushing through the crowds.

Arthur reached the platform, and swiftly ascended the steps. Drawing his sword, he yelled "No!"

The executioner stopped, looking shocked. The crowd had fallen silent.

"But Lord Agravaine-"The executioner was cut off.

"I don't care what Agravaine said! I am the King!" Arthur roared, feeling only a murderous rage.

Breathing deeply, Arthur began to speak.

"I do not believe Morgana is evil. Before she betrayed Camelot, we loved each other. I should have been there for her when she found she had magic. Instead, I focused on matters of lesser importance. I hurt her by pushing her away when she needed me the most."

The crowd, even Agravaine, were completely drawn in by the young king's words.

Arthur was sobbing heavily when he continued, "When Morgana found me in the clearing where we used to play, I was reminded. I was reminded of a young boy promising a young girl he would always look after her. The girl, now grown up, talked with me. We realised we were stupid. What is the point of loving each other, hurting each other, and grieving over it? This cycle has to stop. I refuse to let that girl, Morgana, be executed. We still could have a future, if I gave us a chance. Maybe not all magic is evil. Everyone should be given a chance."

Morgana was shocked beyond belief when he said those words. When Lord Agravaine had tried her and ordered for her to be executed, she had thought Arthur had set it up. But now, he was speaking these words with tears streaming down his face.

Real tears.

Arthur did want them to have a happily ever after.

She should give him a chance.

**Three weeks later…**

Arthur was holding Morgana in his arms, back in that memorable clearing. Their secret place.

"Morgana. Thank you so much for giving me a chance to let us happen," Arthur murmured into her hair.

Morgana was, for once, smiling freely.

"Arthur. I should never have doubted you. You are right. You never lied. You have always loved me!"

Arthur held her closer. "Yes. I am glad everything worked out. You were tried and proven remorseful. You are Lady Morgana once more. Agravaine apologised, saying he wanted to put an end to magic. But now he, and the people, agree that you and other magical beings deserve a chance. We will have a happily ever after. We will make the kingdom right. One day…"

"One day…" Morgana agreed, sighing into Arthur's chest.

**Author's note: Yay! There is going to be an epilogue as well. Should I make a sequel? I was definitely going to, but I want your opinions. I am wondering how they will unite Albion with Merlin myself! Gwen is going to be a more prominent character in the possible sequel, don't you Gwen fans despair!**


	7. Epilogue

Arthur's heart soared when he saw Morgana. She was not pretty. She was not beautiful. She was a pure ray of delightful sunlight. Dressed in an exquisite silver gown, she gracefully walked down the aisle. Towards Arthur and the two thrones. One for a king, one for a queen.

Arthur was shaking badly as he spoke, taking Morgana's hand in his own.

"By the power vested in me, I pronounce thee, Morgana, Queen of Camelot."

Drawing her into his arms, their lips met in a slow passionate kiss. When they broke apart, the nobles, servants, and artisans alike started a chant for the woman who had changed Camelot.

"Long live the queen! Long live the queen! Long live the queen!"


End file.
